Hehe. We have a gardener who mows the lawn and does other gardening activities every other week for us. I have a room that has a window to the backyard so I can see what the gardener is doing. A high fence divides us and the neightbor, who happens to have a persimmon tree, I believe. Or if persimmons don't grow on trees, it's something orange, but I don't think they're oranges. So anyhow, the tree kind of goes over our side of the fence. So what? Our slick gardener brings a ladder and starts picking the fruits. My dad always wants me to do the same 'cuz I'm tall and don't really need a ladder. Does anyone else see anything wrong with it? I mean, I understand that if it's on our side of the fence, it's ours, right? But for whatever reason, I just think it's embarrassing.

I thought this was interesting:



"I think if you want to know the effects of Sharpiegate, you might want to look to the Canadian Football League. I hear there was a CFL game 10 days ago in which the receiver and the defensive back jumped for a pass in the end zone, both came down clutching it, and the defender ripped it from the receiver's grasp. The defender whipped out a pen, signed the ball and then gave it to a fan. The offense protested that it was their guy who actually came down with the ball. The officials huddled. They ruled it was an offensive touchdown. So the defensive guy celebrated, signed the ball ... and he was the guy who LOST on the play."

- Peter King, CNNSI.com MMQB

T.O. is the man.

Baseball stinks anyway. Long live football. Go Niners.

Gigantomachy

Giants beat by Zeus' friends

Not same but still wack

Football, greatest game

But now I ache ev'rywhere

And I can't stand up

Hypothetically thinking... You know the story of Adam and Eve, right? And how Eve messed up everything and got the two of them banished from paradise. Well what if she hadn't given into the serpent and not eaten the forbidden fruit. We'd all be in paradise, right? And in that paradise, there's not supposed to be any work or anything, right? So would there be a need for school? If not, damn you, Eve. BUT, on the same token, if we lived in such a paradise, would we become an advanced society? Would the Internet and computer have come about? The proverbial double-edged sword -- Eve doesn't eat, paradise but no Internet. Eve eats, we're where we are today, but with Internet.



Yeah, I guess I'm a nerd... but don't get me wrong. Damn you, Eve. Paradise woulda rocked.

What's with the haikus?

No particular reason.

Perhaps I like them.

A haiku about midterms:



Fail college midterms

Should learn from all those mistakes

But I am stubborn

For whatever reason, I'm goin' haiku crazy. It's probably because I have a midterm tomorrow.



One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five, plus two.

One, two, three, four, five.

A haiku about school:



I hate school's demands

Homework, midterms, finals crap

End soon, please oh please!

A basketball haiku:



Little scars on face

Where savage smashed eyewear to

Next time wear contacts



Thanks, Ike. Hahaha!

I thought this was fun:



At the end of class today in my Art History lecture, my professor is handing back our midterms from last week. So she's going down the names. Y'know, the usual stuff. And I don't know if these really are names in our class, but they sound like names in the class. I just thought I'd add it in for dramatic effect.



"Chris. Here's your midterm."

"Lindsey. There you go."

"Mike. Pass this one down to Bridget."

"Jeremy," then turns to the class, "who needs more caffeine for his next class."



And then we all have a good chuckle.



"What? You don't think I notice when students take a nap in class?"



Hahaha. No. I didn't think you noticed. Until of course you called on me during lecture when my eyes were closed. "Jeremy... What do you think of these two pieces of art. How would you compare them?"



Hahaha! Well firstly, I hope she really did call on me because I was just thinking that maybe she said a different name and I was mistaken in giving an answer. And secondly, Hah! Thought you could catch me off guard, huh, professor. So I give an answer and she agrees.



Anyhow, in and out of my dozing off, I had this feeling that she did notice but I swear - sometimes it's just really tough to keep your eyes open. Sheesh.

Much congratulations to Van the man. If you're gonna be playing with radioactive stuff, can you hook me up with a radioactive spider? Thanks.

On my trek across campus from what should have been an easy midterm, I saw two things that probably only interest me. Firstly, I saw squirrel packing away something in the grass. It was awesome. Its little hands were moving with an impressively quick fury. I've never seen a squirrel digging and burying something. I was tempted to go look what it buried but that would've been mean, ruining its hard work.



The second thing I saw was perhaps even more awesome. If you by any chance have an extra $130,000 or so to spare, please purchase me a BMW Z8. I saw one parked at our school and I must say that despite its only recent release, the car looks instant vintage. It's a classic. Sweet lookin' car. Yowza.



I can't wait to win the lottery.

This is a blog about nothing.

So as I read my previous blog, I realize that the style with which I wrote bears little resemblance to the typical vernacular with which I speak. And just reading that last sentence, I again provide evidence of this truth. And the babble continues.

As I take a break from the studying of words that have no bearing on my future as a slacker, I return to my roots as a geek. And as I return to my roots as a geek, I am reminded that I spend much too much time in the vicinity of my computer. But nonetheless, I deliver the following news. And I say it now because I don't want to forget. This is not cricital to any of you because, quite frankly, its importance is neglible. Not officially now, but perhaps at some point, the site you see before you will be moving to www.riskingabsurdity.com/jeng. Eventually (at least my thought processes lead me to believe this is a good idea) this here URL (www.riskingabsurdity.com/djreyes) will house a professional site. But I dunno. Since I'm not very professional. So perhaps this blog is actually made in vain. And perhaps I am just babbling because I don't want to get back to studying. Such is the life of a slacking procrastinator.

Hahaha. So after reading Mr. Defensor's blog regarding the weekend updates, it dawned on me that I have yet to mention what happened last Friday night (Oct. 18) and the rest of my weekend updates. I'll keep it short since I know I usually write too much anyway and I'll write pretty much about Friday's haps.



So. Friday. First of all, I failed a midterm. Awesome way to begin the day. It brought my spirits to a new high. Perhaps much like the feeling I imagine you would get putting your hand through a running circular saw. Maybe not that fun, but fun nonetheless, do you know what I'm saying? So then I go to work where I talk with my boss. It was cool because she didn't seem as mad at me as I thought she was, but I still get a feeling that she dislikes me. And then, evening rolls around...



As you might know, a little party was thrown at a quaint little club in San Francisco. Drinks were around, yes. So you know how that goes. And as I blogged earlier about, but not with much elaboration, embarrassing is as embarrassing does. And I must say, I was perhaps as embarrassing as I ever hope to be again. Well, I've been embarrassing before, but this was pretty damn embarrassing. Yes, the music wasn't that great. Yes, the drinks weren't made that well. Yes, I did drink those drinks. Yes, I was perhaps inebriated. Yes, I did see all of you pointing and laughing. Yes, I did dance. And yes, I was embarrassing.



But no, I did not make love with my clothes on. No, I did not make that call. And no, Maganda Boy is yet another nickname that does not make sense.



But yes again, I was embarrassing. And I apologize.

By the way - I was not fired. My meeting went alright, I think. We'll see how it goes.



In other job news, I recently applied to another internship offering. We'll see how that goes as well.

Gosh dammit. A missed opportunity to show the league what the Niners are all about. Damn!



Damn.



Damn.



T.O. is gonna have a lot to say...



Damn.

Embarrassing is as embarrassing does.

Ok. I'm kind of worried. What do you think? Should i be? I think my boss is unhappy with me. By the way, this is a bit of a long blog so You can stop here if you want. I just want to throw this out there.



You see, I usually show up to work Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays between 2 and 6 because of school obligations - which my boss does say should be my number one priority: "Always school first." Lately my workload has been rather light for various reasons so last week I asked my boss if there was anything more I could be doing. I told her that with the current workload, I think I can handle more and if there was any work that needed to be done, I could do it. She said that with the reorganization (Sun just went through some managerial changes recently), jobs are kind of undefined and at the present, there isn't much more work for me to be doing except the one or two things I normally do anyhow. So I thought all was good.



So earlier this week, I left earlier because there wasn't much more for me to do. Unfortunately, and probably a big mistake on my part, I did leave early and didn't let anyone know. And I guess my boss tried calling me when I should've been there and left me a message (and I don't normally check my phone messages). So right there, I guess that's bad. But today, I forgot my badge at home. So I went home and figured that I could actually just handle the work I had to do at home rather than make the trek all the way back up to Menlo Park. So I email my coworkers saying that I'd be doing my work from home and if anything was needed, go ahead and call me. So the phone rings...



"Hello?" I say.



"Where are you?" Shit. It's my boss.



"I forgot my badge at home so I thought I'd work from home instead. I'm gathering the data you requested from here. I sent an email out earlier today."



"Ok. I think we should talk. Were you in on Tuesday?"



"Yeah. I finished up some work. I finished some web updates that were needed like the editorial calendar."



"I tried calling and left a message but you never replied, so I got worried."



"Oh. I normally don't check my messages. Hehe. I really should check that more often."



"Ok. Well I think we should talk. At this point, it seems as though you lack direction." HUH!? She continues, "I have a meeting with Jeff (our director) later today. Tomorrow when you come in, we should talk about your duties and deliverables."



"Uh. Ok."



So hmmm. I really hope that I don't get laid off. Hehe. Although, I have been looking for work elsewhere since the beginning of the week. But still. While I don't need this job, I don't wanna leave on a sour note. But dude! I asked her last week, right? "Is there anything more I can be doing?" And shit - if there isn't, what's the point of me staying there longer than necessary, right???

Terrell Owens is the man. From now on, I'm keeping a pen in my sock for whenever I score a touchdown. So I guess for now it'll just remain in the sock for a long while.



In related news, my fantasy football aspirations and potential have yet to be realized. That's right. Your reigning fantasy football champion is in a tight spot. For now.

Maybe it's a little premature, and really not very believable or whatever, but here's the prediction - Miami Dolphins vs. San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl. Why the Dolphins? Look at the past Super Bowl QBs. Haha. Ray Lucas will lead them. Hahaha.

Sweet damn, thank God it's Friday.

Note to self: Never ever, ever, ever take a "nap" while doing homework again. Never. You dumbass.

And that damn journey continues. I hate school.

And so I embark on a journey of homework.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator. Like, for example, right now. Right now, I should be doing some homework. But what did I do? Check the audio section.



I'm such an idiot.

Whaddya do? What do you do?

Saturday we went over to Kelly's Mission Rock for Kathryn's birthday. Fun times. Drunk times. Same difference.



So on that note, when's the next party?

World's funniest joke? According to researchers, below is the funniest joke. In my opinion, it's ok. I've heard better. But that's what the research says in this article. Of particular interest, especially to you embarassings out there - "many European countries, such as France, Denmark and Belgium, displayed a penchant for off-beat surreal humour, while Americans and Canadians preferred jokes where there was a strong sense of superiority -- either because a character looks stupid or is made to look stupid by someone else." Hmmm. Sound familiar?



So without further ado, the joke:



Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.



He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

The previous posted blog may only be interesting to me.

EA Sports' Madden Football Video Game Franchise is awesome. It's really one of the only video games I play. Every year they find a new spokesperson and have them on their cover. In 2001, it was Eddie George. For 2002, it was Daunte Culpepper. The latest incarnation, Madden 2003, boasts Marshall Faulk as the latest cover boy. It's said to be a prestigious honor, being on the cover.



I hope that prestigious honor is never bestowed on a 49er.



For the past 3 years, the "Madden Curse" has held true. In 2001, the Tennessee Titans were supposed to be Super Bowl contenders with Eddie George leading the way. What happened? Injured. In 2002, Daunte Culpepper was going to take the league by storm with an insane amount of TDs and yardage with the help of Randy Moss. What happened? Team implosion. And now, 2003. Everyone but me (and my fellow Niner compatriots) had penciled the Rams in for a repeat Super Bowl appearance. What's happened thus far? A 0-5 record. Pathetic!



So now, the 49ers are sittin' pretty in first place at the top of the NFC West. And the Rams are again the Lambs.

So I'm looking out my window right now at this tree in the backyard and on it I see these two squirrels chasing each other. Round and round they go. Quick little suckers. I didn't even know we had squirrels in that tree.

And oh yeah. Thank God it's Friday.

Damn. I wish I could rock.

So that last blog was pretty absurd. Remind me not to try that again.

Because I don't feel well I'm not going to class

I'm not going to work either to make the cash

So I sit here bored out of my mind

What the hell is this? I'm laying down rhymes?



I can't stand up 'cuz I start feeling dizzy

Should I do something else to keep myself busy?

So I evaluate the current situation.

Hah. I'll do nothing. It's all about procrastination



And on that note I'll bid adieu.

This boredom thing is not really new.

I'll look at other bloggers and read their shit.

It's all I ever do, but now I'm sick.

Aw man. I'm not feeling all too well. I think I'm coming down with a fever. Dammit!